20 questions meme

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uhhh mentions of heavy drug usage and NSFW ( not really tbh; it's only on question 4 if u wanna avoid it ) stuff below

1. What is your character’s name? Does the character have a nickname?
Oh boy. In a series where everyone basically goes by a codename ( Snake, EVA, Ocelot- ), Kaz is the only one whose up and front with his name. Born Kazuhira Watanabe ( this is headcanon material since we don't know his mother's maiden name ), he was quick to change it when he came to live with his father in America. And he decided to go with the most 'American' name he could think of: McDonell Benedict Miller. Once he realized the American dream was a LIE and that it sucked living in America just as much as it did back in Japan, he stayed with Kazuhira Miller. Kaz and Kazoo are the go to nicknames people usually give him ( he loves receiving/giving nicknames; gives him a sense of personal bond with the person ), though some people ( I mostly mean Ocelot ) tend to call him 'Ben' to annoy him. That being said, he was well respected enough to also earn the nickname 'Master Miller' and later on 'Hell Master' for how daunting and harsh his training methods are.
Come around the Phantom Pain, he's going by 'Miller' to everyone, minus V whose the only one who still calls him 'Kaz'.  

2. What is your character’s hair color? Eye color? What kind of distinguishing facial features does your character have? Does your character have a birthmark? Where is it? What about scars? How did he get them?
Kazuhira has a perfect chiseled face, blond hair, and sky blue eyes ( tho after his torture, they're a really pale blue ). And while this earned him nothing but ridicule in Japan ( 'American' features weren't really popular after WW2, due to obvious reasons ), he was considered a stud everywhere else. He has a bullet wound under his ribcage, left side, after getting shot during his first 'business meeting' in South America. It went completly wrong and he accidentally started a shoot-out by insulting a potential client. With how many people were involved, he was lucky that was the only injury he got during the whole ordeal. Still, he learned a lot from it and the next one went smoothly!
2Ktv by heIImaster
He has a few scars but nothing really noteworthy until the Ground Zeroes incident, where a large metal sharpnel cut through his left side. Of course, with everything that was happening at the time, he wasn't even aware he had the injury until he woke up in the hospital after everything and the doctor was giving him a long list of injuries. 

3. How does your character kiss? Are they slow and steady? Passionate?
Teasing and coy, Kaz would flirt and charm, and when he finally kisses you, it ends too soon. Parting, he often leaves this nasty craving for 'just a little more!' behind, and, honestly, it’s a bit cruel. He would have been gentle, but firm, and the weight of his hand on your hip would not go unnoticed. He would have pulled you in close and you’d feel the warmth of his lips burdened with the faintest edge of restraint. Rude, isn’t he? Who does he think he is acting all roguish like that, kissing in a way that says, Not now, but here’s something to drive you crazy for a while. Then he’d smile, all sharp and confident, maybe raise his glasses up just slightly to throw a wink before walking away.
Phantom Pain Kaz uhhhhh- he has no patience to tease and taunt. He knows what he likes and wants, so why hide it? Here, he kisses like he fights: rough and bruising, and the heat of it goes straight to your head. If you get drunk on the feel of him, fantastic. He isn’t left unaffected either. Kaz would cup your face, his kisses hot and feverish. He’d kiss you like you were oxygen, and he’d been deprived of breath for so long. Perhaps you’d be pushed back into a wall, his chest against yours, close enough to feel his racing heart. But, by then, yours may have been rushing, too, and discerning whose heartbeat was whose would have been impossible.
That being said, i've actually never written an actual kiss scene in detail so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4. How does your character view sex? Are they an intimate person? 
uhhhhhhhhhHHHH. This is probably an important question considering it's KAZ but I literally don't care about smut that much so if this doesn't make sense uhHHh whoops. We already know that Peace Walker!Kaz is a slut but that's diffrent for Phantom Pain!Kaz
He’s grown a bit older and matured A LOT since Peace Walker, and so PP!Kaz's drive for sex isn’t as ridiculously high. Flirting will be turned down, dismissed, or ignored more in favor of staying focused on the pressing matters at hand. In addition, his head is most likely buzzing with a lot of heavy thoughts, and, as a result, his desire for sex has declined drastically.

I’m pretty sure he still has and thinks about sex, however, between Boss's coma and the establishment of Diamond Dogs, I think him cutting it completely out of his life is unlikely, just like him being as open and casual about it as he was during Peace Walker.

Maybe he’s… A bit less warm or friendly about intimacy. He probably doesn’t dance around it or act as suave and smooth like he had in his younger years. Flirting isn’t as 'devilishly romantic' either, and none of that coy or roguish behavior will be expressed. It's more straightforward. It's more in your face. For sex, I feel he’d pursue it less frequently but go about it rougher. Him being more demanding in bed is a possibility. Maybe sleeping with him is a fever pitch of energy and need and lust and it's hot, sure, but that's it. He’ll love with bruising touches and scorching kisses, and though passionate or perhaps just very raw, both parties know there is nothing coming out of it. And, same as before, he’ll be aggressive and rough. Missing some limbs, he may drive this point a bit harder, as if to drown any negative thoughts or doubt about him; he doesn’t want, deserve, or need pity.

Ultimately, sex is just sex, though, really, I find the whole 'sex is just sex' thing to be pretty much Peace Walker!Kaz as well. In that regard, that hasn’t changed. But, like Peace Walker!Kaz, I’d find whoever he sleeps with, he does care for a lot. Maybe not as a lover, but something just as intimate and as a comrade–there is respect there, but nothing deeper. That said, he doesn’t use people and toss them aside, but, likewise, he isn’t coddling anyone and attempting to keep them close either.

5. Is your character in a relationship? What’s her/his name, how did they meet, how close are they? Describe dates they have or how they spend time together.
LMAO no he's not and even if he did get into one, he'd probably fuck it up somehow. If not by cheating, then by letting his fear and insecurities getting the better of him before he breaks it off, instead of trying to open up to his partner about how he's truly feeling.
78 by heIImaster

6. Have they ever had their heart broken?
Yup. While in college, he fooled around and dated this really cute hippy girl named Kimberly ( who he affectionally called 'Kimmy' ) to spite her ex-boyfriend ( because Kaz is Petty and what better way to piss off someone then by sleeping with their girl ) but actually did end up loving her a lot. Of course, nothing 'happy' in Kaz's life ever lasts and that includes the relationship. Once they both finished college and it became obvious they both shared diffrent dreams and goals, she promptly broke it off with him before moving away to the West Coast. He never got the confidence to try and contact her again so it was left at that.

7. What is in your character’s refrigerator right now? On his bedroom floor? On his nightstand? In his garbage can?
He has a mini-fridge in his quarters stuffed with cold beer, popsicles, and Coca Cola. If he knows he has a meeting with someone in his quarters, he makes sure to have chocolate pudding to offer ( two if he's babysitting keeping an eye on Chico ) and if it's another type of ' meeting ', he always keeps a box of condoms in his drawer. There's paperwork EVERYWHERE but it's organized to him though and touching his mess is a bad idea. Books and papers and things to write with personnel files and data data data he cannot make bricks without clay- he isn't Oracle but he does keep a lot of info around just in caaaaase-
Oh yeah, he also has one of those ' It's Miller Time ' neon signs behind his desk because he saw it while in a bar drunk and coked up outta his mind after a really good deal, thought it was the hilarous and brought it to treat himself to a job well done.


8. How does your character prefer to dress? Does this reflect on their personality?
Kaz has mastered the this-is-a-casual-look-but-it-still-gives-off-a-wave-of-professionalism-to-assert-my-authority-over-you. And that can easily be seen with his uniform: sleeves rolled up slightly, sometimes he has his jacket unbuttoned to reveal his black undershirt etc etc. Oh and he loves to accessorize and show off said accessories. If you ever want him to never shut up, point out his sunglasses and his Rolex, compliment them, and he will not stop bragging about them. Kaz was raised in poverty for most of his childhood, and it's only now that he's buying a LOT of stuff for himself to make up for what he considered 'lost years'.
And even during the Phantom Pain, where he's trying to look more 'professional' and 'intimidating', he's still extremely well dressed like...god bless his Phantom Pain uniform, okay?


9. How would someone who knows your character describe them?
Depends on who you ask. Kaz has many diffrent facets to him that he reveals to people. He's an extrovert but only few have seen all sides of him. To Snake? His best friend, right hand man, and comrade. He's not only gifted at being a people person but also has the integrity akin to that of 'a samurai', to quote him. To Ocelot? A liar. Traitor. Manipulator. Enabler. A kid biting off more than he can chew. MSF's downfall was, in his eyes, partially Kaz's fault for being a spy for Cipher ( tho in Kaz's defense, he didn't know they were going to bomb the place ). And while they become somewhat friends during Snake's coma, that friendship all but ends the second Snake wakes up again. His lovers? Affectionate but scared of commitment, of being tied down. And you know what? They're all right with these claims. Because Kaz, like every human being, has multiple sides to him; sometimes they contradict each other too
And this persists even in the Phantom Pain. When given a mission that involves killing off child soldiers that had been raiding villages, Kaz instead has their deaths faked and has them brought back to Mother Base for rehabilitation; a chance at a normal life free of conflict. He worries about them, but he isn’t good at showing it. He’s grouchy and cold and more than a little difficult to get close to, but that’s because he’s lost everything and is perpetually aggravated and short of temper. In reality, with those children, he just wants the best for them. All they knew was war up to that point, and it wasn’t right. They should experience something beyond combat, have another choice to explore rather than living and dying on the battlefield. I mean, for god’s sake, they’re, like, 12, and Kaz is not letting them set foot near his kind of work. It’s no place for children. He’s stern, strict, and unyielding, and that’s the attitude he lets practically ooze out of him, but his actions say what he stubbornly keeps to himself: They deserve a better life, and giving them a chance to explore education and to resettle into some semblance of normalcy, he offers them what was previously impossible or inconceivable.
So, Kaz, who continues to claim he hates kids while his action shows otherwise, is almost like a tough loveadult, I feel like ( even as a commander ) he’s not the greatest at showing it, but he really does care about children. A ton. If any one of them gets hurt, he asks himself if he could have done a better job ( though Kaz seems to take the blame in quite a few situations on Mother Base; he berates himself for a number of failures, even if it's something completely beyond his control ). It’s difficult to tell under that prickly exterior, but he really does worry and want the best for them.

10. Health? Stress Level?
For all of Kaz’s insistence, I’ve leaned on the belief that he is the person he takes the least care of. I don’t think it’s purposeful nor do I think he’s doing it to inflict more stress/pain on himself, but it just happens. Pouring himself into work is how he picks up his own weight. It can become worrisome at times. He probably skips out on a full night’s rest some days ( though he aims not to make this a habit because he also understands that he can’t look after Mother Base half-awake ); the bags under his eyes reveal that much. He doesn’t eat all too well or much at all and banks almost exclusively on coffee to keep him up through a particular tough day when the paperwork has backed up. But he has the Medic around to remind him to take care of himself so, at the very least, he's got someone keeping an eye out for him.
Of course, once the Medic dies, there's no one really to look out for his well being ( or are too scared to say anything ) or to place a soft hand on his shoulder and tell him to rest.
In the Phantom Pain, his slow loss in weight and muscle mass is a culmination of too much time at the desk. His muscles and bones hurt, but he trudges through the pain with a brisk albeit hobbled ) stride when he makes his rounds on base. He lashes out because he’s angry, but also because his habits have whittled away at his patience. He devotes so much time to his duties that, for the most part, he really doesn’t indulge in anything else. Kaz is a busy man! He wants to get everything done or it won't get done at all! After all he’s went through, I think pouring himself into work is how he picks up his own weight. He may not be able to fight on the field anymore, but he’s still second-in-command, and, more than ever, he makes sure everything on Mother Base is running more than just smoothly. It’s perfect, down to the very last detail. Of course, parts of the motivation is due in part to his need for retribution, and dealing a blow to those that have wronged him is naturally a goal of his, but it’s also an expression of his self-worth, too. He’s still devoted to his work, and he will do his job better than anyone else.
11. Who is someone that your character confides in?
I bet you'd expect me to say Big Boss but that's a Big Wrong. 
Kaz, unlike the others in MSF, was not exactly recruited by Big Boss–not in the strictest definition, anyway. In the Peace and Kazuhira Blues tapes, Boss gave Kaz very little choice in the matter: be given a painful, slow death or alliance ( may have been a bluff, but it didn’t feel like it at the time. doesn't help that Boss used blackmail on Kaz as well ). Keep in mind, Boss had Kaz pinned against the ground, strangling him, and Kaz had to, metaphorically speaking, throw in the towel’ ( despite him claiming he hadn’t. Control issue? def ). Now, this by no means meant Kaz didn’t join willingly, because toward the end, he admitted he couldn’t beat Boss, but with him, he could make his dreams come true. So while they did eventually become really good friends, that first meeting isn't something that leaves your mind so easily. Which is also why Kaz had no problem being a spy for Cipher and talking to them behind BB's back.

Nope, the person Kaz confides to the most is Medic. Kaz and BB are good friends but they have many different views on a variety of things. Being both alphas, this usually leads to many arguments that lead to spontaneous fist fights. It can range anywhere from between dinner to even in the showers. And when that happens the first place Kaz storms to is the Medical Bay to visit Medic: For a quick fix-up, to vent in frustration, and to flirt.
TFW ur commander is really touchy and u keep getting improper thoughts and, as his doctor, that's extremely unprofessional
1 by heIImaster
12. Who does your character care about most?
Despite not being entirely honest with Big Boss at times and their constant different views on matters, he'd give his life to protect him. And almost actually does.
13. Would your character kill to protect anyone? Who? Why?
Yes yes yes, very much yes. If he considers you a friend, you're also family and he'd be willing to kill to protect those close to him or under his command. That includes MSF and the Diamond Dogs ( yes, even the ones that talk shit about him behind his back ).
14. Does your character drink/smoke/or do drugs? 
Kaz is the biggest party animal in all of MSF and always has an abundance of alcohol and tobacco stored for 'morale boosting purposes'. He sometimes smokes weed through his kiseru ( the Support team has the best stuff, Intel team just brag a lot- ) on particularly stressed days and turns to lineeeees of cocaine when he knows he's going to be pulling all-nighters and binge working on papers. Or when he really wants to get fucked up during a party. This....doesn't really bother anyone until he starts stripping, as per how most parties go with him in it, and even then most people just 👀 at that because, damn, Commander Miller has got it going on. The only person really annoyed at this is Big Boss, who confronts Kaz while he's singing his heart out along with ABBA, they end up arguing and the next thing you know fist fight number two: electric boogaloo-
He goes from Happy Drunk to Depressed Drunk once the Phantom Pain rolls around, and he's snorting a LOT more cocaine than before ( yes, more so then before. He has really bad benders at times and Ocelot sorta has to force him to chill for a bit sometimes ).
15. What kind of music do they listen to?
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN STRESS THIS BUT KAZUHIRA MILLER STANS FLEETWOOD MAC AND DAVID BOWIE!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!! bUT YEAH, he has a huge variety of taste though tends to lean towards songs with acoustics.
In Phantom Pain, he also catches on with the Thrash Wave that overtook the 80's. You can tell when Commander Miller is upset about something if you hear muffled Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Venom, Motörhead or any of those sorts from outside his office. 
16. Describe their hobbies.
Writing song lyrics, reading books after books, sleeping around, causing drama, making money, uhhhhhhh fighting, partying, did I mention making mon- 
17. Introvert or Extrovert? Social or a bit socially awkward? How do they feel in social situations?
He's... a mix of both kinda? Find him at parties jumping from group to group, laughing and talking with anyone whose willing to lend an ear. He's REALLY good when it comes to socializing and rubs off on people well. He's friendly, charasmatic and easy to open up to. On the other hand, while he can easily have someone vent to him their entire life story... he's really quiet about his own upbringings and thoughts, only venting to a select few.

18. How do they react to medical treatments/doctors?
He and the head Medic of MSF totes aren't low key flirting what are you talking about Kaz doesn't share any common fear involving hospitals/needles/doctors etc most people tend to have. And he's actually very skilled himself when it comes to first aid while out in the field. He tends to actually hang out in the Medical Bay during his rare free time, if only to hang out with the Medic.

19. 
What are some flaws/weaknesses your character has?
Kaz is sorta like a storm. He’s a product of so many things coming together. He’s angry and destructive, and it makes him merciless and pretty damn brutal. Yes, this includes Peace Walker!Kaz, tho this isn't apparent until the Ground Zeroes incident. He’s on a warpath, a wild fury both untamed and untamable. Inside, Kaz is housing a hideous rage. He talks with an acidity likened to the spite he has, and it may end up eating away at him more than it will anyone else. He’s essentially a hurricane, and he’s either bringing a reckoning on all those who’s ever wronged him, or he’s going to end up destroying himself. Or maybe both. He's very destructive.. and self-destructive. The Phantom Pain just triples that.
His anger can completely blind him. He becomes paranoid and suspicious of everyone and everything, and it makes him point an accusing finger too quickly, makes him unmerciful and unkind. But, even though he’s stewing in that rage, he isn’t out of control. It’s a fine line, really, because he will jump to conclusions, and he will - and has - expect the worst out of nothing. The thing is, however, is that it doesn’t deafen him.

His losses have made him see the world in shades of black and white, a constant state of us versus them, but he can still be talked down. He can still hear voices of reason. Restraining Kaz isn’t impossible despite his anger and revenge mentality. He’s workable. He isn’t a fanatical tyrant, and though hellbent on the destruction of his enemies, he knows when to step back and breathe. However, sometimes, he needs someone to tell him to do just that, like V or Ocelot, though it helps tremendously to be respected by him.

I’m going on and on, but, essentially, Kaz doesn’t devolve into a creature of base instinct. He isn’t only brutal despite his motives.

20. If your character went through something that left them completely disabled, how would they react
It's called the entirety of The Phantom Pain

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